


Rhaphidophoridae

by ariofthesea



Category: Adventure Time
Genre: Fluff, Gen, One Shot, dreaded public showers, surrogate father-daughter bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-04
Updated: 2013-06-04
Packaged: 2017-12-13 21:50:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/829259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariofthesea/pseuds/ariofthesea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simon Petrikov and young Marceline Abadeer have had to get clean together before.  But none of the previous experiences were this--hilariously chaotic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rhaphidophoridae

“Simooooon,” Marceline whined, “it’s really hot and I feel really gross!” 

 

Simon, despite being naturally colder due to the crown’s effect, also felt the grueling humidity of that particular day wearing him down.  Though he was usually calm and understanding with Marceline, especially since she was only five years old, she had been complaining about the heat for quite a while, and his patience started to wane. 

 

“C’mon, we need to keep going.”

 

“But I’m tired.”

 

“We took a rest not too long ago, and once we’ve gone a bit farther, we'll rest again.” 

 

“Won’t you at least carry me?”

 

“Not this time, Marceline, no.” 

 

“But whhhhhhhhhy?” 

 

Simon sighed and answered in an annoyed tone:

 

“Because I’m as hot and tired as you, and right now, I could really do without the constant whining.  All right?”

 

Simon came to a stop when he felt Marceline loosen her grip from his hand.  He looked down to see her with her head lowered, and though her bangs covered most of her face, he could see her pouted lips.  His voice softened.  

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you like that.  But the town is just a bit further ahead, and I need you to hold out for a just little longer.  Once we’re there, we can take a break again.  Can you do that for me?”

 

Though Marceline didn’t lift her head up to look at Simon, she nodded. 

 

“Atta girl,” he said, giving her hand a gentle, assuring squeeze. 

 

The road signs indicated that there was a town half a mile ahead.  Simon guided Marceline up the inclined road at a slow pace, and she did not make a fuss during the hike upwards.  

 

To Simon’s surprise, relief came sooner than expected in the form of a gym that lay a few hundred feet ahead.  Simon’s cheerful voice that encouraged Marceline to look up, in addition to the sight of the building not too far away, reinvigorated the weary child.  When the two approached the doors and pulled on the handles, they found that the gym was locked, a phenomenon that they had come to expect with many of the buildings they tried to enter.  Simon then found a chair nearby, and threw it into one of the windows of the gym.  As he and Marceline climbed through the hole in the glass, the little girl asked:

 

“Simon?  Why are we going into a gym?”  

 

“Believe it or not, this is where we’re going to cool down.”

 

“But how?  Mommy used to say she got all sweaty when she went to a gym.”

 

“Ah,” Simon interjected, holding a finger up, “but they have showers so all of those sweaty people can get freshened up before they go home or go back to work.”

 

Marceline’s eyes beamed.  “You mean we’re finally gonna get clean?”

 

Simon spotted a large hamper filled with towels.  He walked over to it and lifted two up with a smile.

 

“Yay!  We’re gonna get clean!”  Marceline bounced up and down on the soles of her feet and clapped her hands together.  She ran over to him and snatched her towel.  Just as he walked through the entrance of the men’s changing rooms and showers, he realized by the sound of dainty footsteps that Marceline was following him.  He turned and leaned down a bit so he was closer to her eye level.

 

“Hey, um, kiddo, have you ever taken a shower by yourself?”

 

“I have.”  Marceline then realized what he wanted her to do.  “Are you going to make me shower alone?”

 

“Sweetie, I hate to say it, but you’re getting a bit too old to be taking baths and showers with me.”

 

Marceline whimpered, and in response, he gave her a compassionate look.

 

“I mean, you can come into the showering area with me, but I’d rather you not share a stall with me.  But don’t you worry.  I’ll be close by, so nothing bad is gonna happen.  ‘Kay?” 

 

Marceline hesitated at first, but when she saw his warm expression, she nodded in agreement.  She trailed behind him up to the showering area, where he held out a hand to stop her.  He then pulled back the curtains of each stall, immediately closing the ones in front of the disgusting stalls.

 

“Okay, so the only two good ones are this front one and that back one.” 

 

When he looked to Marceline again, she was already wrapped up in her towel. 

 

“You have shampoo?”  She asked.

 

“Sorry, Marcy.  But I saw soap in your stall.  And that’s really more of what we’re here for, a scrub down.”   

 

Once Marceline went into her stall, Simon undressed in the changing area.  He heard her grunting a bit, but no sound of the shower running.

 

“You all right in there?”  He called out to her.

 

“I’m okay!”  She giggled, which was followed by a creaking noise and water pouring from the shower.  “I just had trouble reaching the dial-y thing.”

 

“Okay,” he chuckled,  “just let me know if you need help with anything else.” 

 

He then went into his shower stall and turned the dial to the coolest setting.  He sighed, welcoming the cold water on his skin.  Ever since the crown lowered his body temperature, he never imagined that he would be so grateful to come into contact with something so cool and refreshing.  Not when the nonsense of “the secrets of ice and snow” was more than enough for him. 

 

Simon snapped out of his trance when he heard Marceline shriek. 

 

“Getoffgetoffgetoffgetoffgetooooooooooooff!” 

 

“Marcy?  Marcy, what’s wrong?!” 

 

Panic surged through him as he threw on his towel and ran over to Marceline’s stall.  She stumbled out and fell on her bare butt, wildly pawing at her head as she scrambled backwards.  He crouched down beside and held out an arm to her to prevent her from backing into one of the disgusting stalls.  After he calmed her down, he asked her what had happened.

 

“Th-that fell on my head!”  Marceline said as she pointed a trembling finger in the direction of a large cave cricket. 

 

At first, Simon suppressed a few chuckles, but the longer he stared at the cricket bathing idly in the cascading water, the harder it become for him to restrain himself.  He started to snicker uncontrollably, which caused Marceline to turn her head his way and pout.

 

“Stop it, Simon!  How could you mock a suffering child?”

 

The moment those words left Marceline’s mouth, Simon snorted and began cackling.  Marceline pushed at his arm in an attempt to urge him to stop. 

 

“Aw, I’m sorry, Marcy,” he said, catching his breath and wiping the tears in his eyes.  “It’s just that you’re too adorable, like that bug that can’t hurt you.”

 

“But he’s like a big, ugly spider.  And he jumped at me, Simon!”  Marceline held her arms out wide, displaying the size of her trouble.  “He _jumped at me!_ ” 

 

As if on cue, the cave cricket leapt closer to Marceline.  She squeaked and ran back into the stall.

 

“Geez Marcy,” Simon chuckled as the cricket hopped past him, “all this fuss over one little—whoa, mama.” 

 

His voice dropped as he glanced at the ceiling, where at least twenty more large cave crickets hovered menacingly over Marceline’s stall. 

 

“Okay, I need you stand really still, and whatever you do, don’t look up.”

 

“But—”

 

“Just stay put and don’t look up.”

 

Marceline stared at Simon in confusion as he approached her slowly.  As he lifted her up to take her away, she raised her eyes by mistake and saw the hordes of cave crickets on the ceiling.  She yelped in Simon’s ear, which caused him to spin around too fast and bang against the shower stall.  A number of the crickets dropped down from the ceiling due to the shock of the impact.  A few landed on the floor, two landed in Marceline’s hair, one bounced off of Simon’s nose (it was one of the few times he was thankful for his long nose, for otherwise the cricket’s face and antennae probably would have brushed against his lips), one fell on to Simon’s shoulder, and one nestled itself in the little space between their bodies.  He finally became as frantic as her, and ran out of the stall with the squirming child as she tried to brush off the cricket that clung to her stomach.  Once they were behind the curtain of his shower, Simon did one last check to make sure all of the crickets had fallen off of their bodies.  After the rush of adrenaline died down for both of them, Marceline giggled and said:

 

“I thought we weren’t gonna to shower together.”

 

“Welp, it seems like there’s been a change of plans,” Simon responded flatly. 

 

When Marceline didn’t stop giggling, Simon grinned at her and asked:

 

“And what are _you_ laughing at, Madame?” 

 

“Your towel fell off.” 

 

Simon’s eyes widened.  He looked down and realized his entire lower regions were, indeed, bare. 

 

“Oh fish plums,” he muttered.  “Okay, so whatever you do, don’t look down.” 

 

“And if I do by accident?” 

 

He smirked.  “Well, I’ll just have to—oh no, another cricket!”

 

Marceline’s head swiveled around as she cried: “Where?!  Where?!”  Once she turned her head the other way, Simon seized his chance, tickling her shoulder as he declared: “Here he is!” 

 

Marceline howled with laughter, pushing him away by his forehead as she pleaded him to stop in between breaths.  When Simon stopped, Marceline asked what would come next for the two of them.

 

“Well,” he said, “we should probably gather whatever we can from the town ahead.  If we’re really lucky, we’ll find something like a working fridge with lemonades, or maybe—”

 

“Ice cream?”

 

Though Simon harbored a distaste for ice cream ever since his transformation began, the moment he saw her eyes beaming, he couldn’t help but make a loose promise to find some for Marceline. 

 

“I thought I saw signs for a supermarket up ahead.  So once we’re all clean and we maneuver our way out of this cricket minefield, we’ll get you some chocolate ice cream.  That’s your favorite flavor, right?”

 

Marceline nodded and hugged his neck.  “Thanks Simon, you’re the best!”

 

He smiled as he hugged her back.  “Aw, you’re welcome, pumpkin.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Rhaphidophoridae=The family name for cave crickets. You now have more useless information implanted into your minds :p
> 
> Once again, rates and reviews are greatly appreciated! ^^


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